Poem: Appearances
Sep. 26th, 2005 10:54 am![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
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ds_workshopI agonized over which of my three poems to post here and I finally decided to go with Appearances. That's because while Appearances was the last one written, it falls first in the characters' timeline.
Now I actually wrote this as a companion piece to the other poems, which are more slashy in nature (and I'll post them here sometime in the future). However unlike either of those, Appearances deals with RayK's feelings for Stella and the nature of their relationship (as I see it).
As for what I want discussed, there were actually several points I was concerned with and would like talked about. One) Does Ray's voice sound true? Two) Was I able to capture his character? Three) Are his thoughts and eventual decisions realistic? Four) What is the underlining emotion or feeling behind the words?
Furthermore, I'm supposed to mention Sprat (sprat75@ gmail.com) is the current moderator and that she'll be leading the discussion this week.
Finally, I would like to thank Sprat and Gurrier for starting this community; it's a wonderful idea that's seriously going to help in building and polishing skills.
Now I actually wrote this as a companion piece to the other poems, which are more slashy in nature (and I'll post them here sometime in the future). However unlike either of those, Appearances deals with RayK's feelings for Stella and the nature of their relationship (as I see it).
As for what I want discussed, there were actually several points I was concerned with and would like talked about. One) Does Ray's voice sound true? Two) Was I able to capture his character? Three) Are his thoughts and eventual decisions realistic? Four) What is the underlining emotion or feeling behind the words?
Furthermore, I'm supposed to mention Sprat (sprat75@ gmail.com) is the current moderator and that she'll be leading the discussion this week.
Finally, I would like to thank Sprat and Gurrier for starting this community; it's a wonderful idea that's seriously going to help in building and polishing skills.
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Re:
Date: 2005-10-04 11:11 pm (UTC)I tend to agree with you here, K. While I feel I have a good understanding of Ray's psychology, his voice has always been difficult for me. And for whatever reason, I seem to swing between making him sound too formal or too earthy.
Thank you for taking the time to read and comment constructively.