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ds_workshop2005-11-07 10:43 am
ekaterinn.livejournal.com) wrote in ds_workshop2005-11-07 10:43 am
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this week's story: Down Burning Down, by Ekaterinn
The story I ended up choosing was one where I took some risks and am not entirely sure whether these risks panned out: Down Burning Down
What had started out as an angry sex scene in my mind had turned into a longer, plotty story that involved a hate crimes case, RayK's sexuality, and eventually some maybe-not-so-angry sex. *g* I alternated POVs, though I think I wrote from Fraser's POV more often than I did Ray. I'll be interested in any comments dealing with that, as I know that third person limited is the more usual convention. Looking back, this piece was highly emotional and I'll appreciate knowing whether people thought this was overdone or well-balanced. The story also dealt heavily with gay issues - the case they're working on involves somebody murdering gay kids - and Ray is doing some serious repressing of his own. I'll be interested to hear if y'all think I handled that well, or not. Beyond all this, any comments to do with the story would be both insightful and helpful.
You can find the story here: Down Burning Down, Fraser/RayK, NC-17.
This week's moderator is![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
gurrier, reachable at gurrier @ comcast.net.
What had started out as an angry sex scene in my mind had turned into a longer, plotty story that involved a hate crimes case, RayK's sexuality, and eventually some maybe-not-so-angry sex. *g* I alternated POVs, though I think I wrote from Fraser's POV more often than I did Ray. I'll be interested in any comments dealing with that, as I know that third person limited is the more usual convention. Looking back, this piece was highly emotional and I'll appreciate knowing whether people thought this was overdone or well-balanced. The story also dealt heavily with gay issues - the case they're working on involves somebody murdering gay kids - and Ray is doing some serious repressing of his own. I'll be interested to hear if y'all think I handled that well, or not. Beyond all this, any comments to do with the story would be both insightful and helpful.
You can find the story here: Down Burning Down, Fraser/RayK, NC-17.
This week's moderator is
gurrier, reachable at gurrier @ comcast.net.
no subject
in my opinion a story of this nature needs a little more decompression time at the end, a bit more basking in the after-glow before rolling over and going to sleep.
*nods* I do think you're right about the sudden ending. Looking at the story again, it does seem to stop very abruptly. If I was writing this now, I think I would include an epilogue, at least.
Because of the brevity of the story, there's not any real satisfaction to the catching of the bad guy.
Hmmm. I like your suggestions on how to make the case more organic within the story - I think I focused on the characters to detriment of the plot, i.e. why did he focus so suddenly on Ray? Because I needed him to. *g*
Really, I would love to see you expand this into a longer story - I think you have some great potential for a dramatic, angsty story with this one.
*blushes* Thanks! And maybe I will, actually, once I get some free time. This was written over a year ago and it would be an interesting exercise to rewrite now, paying more attention to the plot and the ending this time.