Summary: Down Burning Down, by Ekaterinn

[gurrier.livejournal.com]

ekaterinn explained when she posted that this story started as a sex scene, and grew into a longer, plottier story about a serial killer and hate crimes. She wondered whether she handled the issues and emotions in it well, and whether the alternating Fraser/RayK POV worked.

dkwilliams didn't even notice the changing POV, and felt the emotional tone worked well. She liked the use of Ray's instincts, how he quickly spotted a pattern. However, she felt the brevity of the story (showing its origins?) caused a couple of problems.

One of these was the sudden ending. The build-up of tension and abrupt ending was like "an amusement ride that suddenly plunges and then dumps you out at the bottom without a chance to catch your breath." She'd have liked more after-glow!

The other problem was a glossing-over of plot details. We don't find out why the killer became a murderer, or why he focused on Ray. dkwilliams thought more on the interaction between Ray and the killer would have helped the story.