Week One Summary: gurrier's "In The Water"

[sprat.livejournal.com]

Week one is officially done! Thanks to everybody who participated. There were some really thoughtful comments and some interesting discussions going on. I've done my best to sum up the major points below (let me know if I've misinterpreted you, though, and I'll edit):

tx_tart liked the character voices in the story, especially Ray's: "he's something of a smartass, but you know there is no sting in his words. He's entertaining Fraser. And he IS entertained. "

xtricks wondered if Fraser should have already known that Ray was attracted to him, as he's generally so perceptive. There was some agreement with this in later comments.

gurrier responded: "I'm more strongly attached to the idea of clueless Fraser than I realised. Or at least to Fraser acting clueless, and not dropping that act". nasrani later agreed. kindkit remarked that Fraser canonically uses his clueless act as a defense. zebra363 thought it was unlikely that Fraser would do this with Ray; gurrier wondered if he might be *more* likely to do it with Ray, as the emotional stakes are higher. riverlight thought it could be left unanswered, as the fic is in Ray's pov so we wouldn't know for certain what Fraser was thinking anyway.

kindkit commented that the contrast in moods between the first and last sections was jarring, and mentioned that the use of specific physical detail "gives the moment a really sharp focus and the effect is highly erotic."

riverlight commented that "and he's the skinny jittery guy with only a turtle at home again, but still." seemed out of voice for Ray, more like an outsider's observation.