I don't think there's much that needs crit, so to speak. I like the general tone of calm in this story - often RayK POV stories are very high strung - angry/angsty/hyper - but this one is both in character and a Ray that's more in control (or taking control) of himself and his life.
The only thing that I might have taken in a different diretion is...
He stops beside Fraser, reaches for his chin, tilts his head. Fraser's got his polite little smile on, the one that says "Ray, my friend, I have no idea what you're doing." But he sits there, waits for Ray to clue him in.
I see Fraser as very quick on the uptake and someone who dosne't miss much - even if he acts as if he dosen't understand. I'm torn because I like this para but I also would imagine that Fraser already knew Ray was attracted.
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The only thing that I might have taken in a different diretion is...
He stops beside Fraser, reaches for his chin, tilts his head. Fraser's got his polite little smile on, the one that says "Ray, my friend, I have no idea what you're doing." But he sits there, waits for Ray to clue him in.
I see Fraser as very quick on the uptake and someone who dosne't miss much - even if he acts as if he dosen't understand. I'm torn because I like this para but I also would imagine that Fraser already knew Ray was attracted.