[identity profile] nifra-idril.livejournal.com
Hey everybody - it's my week on on the workshop and I'm sorry I'm posting late, but I just got home from work where I (bah!) have no computer available to me. So! At any rate, the story I picked was HOWL, a RayK character piece and mainly the reason I picked it was because I think it's one of the rawest pieces I've written in this fandom, or possibly any. I was trying to get in touch with a part of Ray that's really very, very desperate and I wonder whether or not the prose helps that or hurts it.

It's actually probably ended up closest to the way I imagined it when I began writing than anything else I've done, which makes me wonder a little, also. Generally, when I write there's a point where the story takes on a life of its own and wanders down it's own little path, and this one sprang from my head kind of fully formed. Like -- Athena, or something, which worries me and makes me think perhaps it's too contrived.

You can find the story here: HOWL by Nifra Idril.

This week's moderator is [livejournal.com profile] sprat, and reachable at sprat75 (at) gmail.com
[identity profile] ekaterinn.livejournal.com
The story I ended up choosing was one where I took some risks and am not entirely sure whether these risks panned out: Down Burning Down

What had started out as an angry sex scene in my mind had turned into a longer, plotty story that involved a hate crimes case, RayK's sexuality, and eventually some maybe-not-so-angry sex. *g* I alternated POVs, though I think I wrote from Fraser's POV more often than I did Ray. I'll be interested in any comments dealing with that, as I know that third person limited is the more usual convention. Looking back, this piece was highly emotional and I'll appreciate knowing whether people thought this was overdone or well-balanced. The story also dealt heavily with gay issues - the case they're working on involves somebody murdering gay kids - and Ray is doing some serious repressing of his own. I'll be interested to hear if y'all think I handled that well, or not. Beyond all this, any comments to do with the story would be both insightful and helpful.

You can find the story here: Down Burning Down, Fraser/RayK, NC-17.

This week's moderator is [livejournal.com profile] gurrier, reachable at gurrier @ comcast.net.
[identity profile] pearl-o.livejournal.com
After a lot of thought, I decided the story I was most interested in putting up here would definitely be both one that I was proud of, and one where I had taken some risks and experimented as I wrote. The one that probably fits both of those category best for me is Your Hands, Clasped.

Basically, a lot of this story was me experimenting and trying to try new things, and find out what happened. The POV here is a mixture of first and second person, which I hadn't used before; the timeline is slightly irregular; the voice is in some ways richer, and in some ways more minimalist than I would usually use; it's quite short and very focused. The story's very stylized, and I guess what I'm mainly interested in what ways that works, and which way it doesn't -- because ideally, in this sort of story, the style enhances the substance, instead of the substance just disappearing, but that's not always the case.

Besides that, I'm really interesting in any comments people have in general.

The story is here: Your Hands, Clasped.

This week's moderator is [livejournal.com profile] sprat, email at sprat75 @ gmail.com
ext_31419: (DS-naked Ray)
[identity profile] ximeria.livejournal.com
I had a tough time choosing a story, for more than one reason.
1. I'm fairly new to the fandom so the amount of stories to choose from is of course small
2. I wanted to choose one that had taken me time to write. Some stories come easily, other's I have to drag out of the characters *g*

So I ended up with choosing Truly, Madly, Deeply, partly because I don't know how I feel about it. I loved writing it, but I oddly enough don't have a feeling of if it's good or not. I had to go on my betas' opinion before I chose to post it a while back. Another thing is, it's 'mild' angst and my MO is normally humour/PWPs.

It's mostly concentrated on Ray and it's a slight crossover with an AU universe of Stargate (you don't have to know stargate OR the AU story I wrote about two years back -- there is a short recap on the characters in the header of the story.) -- It is Fraser/RayK, rated PG13

Truly, Madly, Deeply

This week's moderator is [livejournal.com profile] gurrier, reachable @ gurrier {at} comcast {dot} net
[identity profile] kijikun.livejournal.com
I fretted for a while over which story to choice for this. In the end I choice the one I feel is my weakest story, and the one I'm the least happy over.

Deep Cover, my first Due South fic. A cliché fic at that. RayK and Fraser undercover at a gay sex club. Like that hasn't been done before.

If any of you can make sense of the title, let me know because I haven't a clue what I was thinking.

What hurts this story the most I think is the voices. Fraser feels too formal to me now. I'm also not sure the plot works, even though its light-years from what it was before my betas looked at it.

Take your best crack and let me know what you think.

Deep Cover, NC-17 RayK/Fraser

The mod for this week is [livejournal.com profile] sprat. She can be reached at sprat75 {at} gmail {dot} com.
china_shop: Neal, Peter and Elizabeth smiling (RayK sad)
[personal profile] china_shop
I dithered about which story to choose. I wanted to pick one that I'm not entirely happy with but can't figure out why, so I can get the benefit of your collective wisdom. But that still gave me many to choose from, alas. ;-)

Anyway, mental coin toss and I pick Knowing Me, Knowing You.

Feel free to point out right off that the title was a terrible idea. Heh.

Although I did work on this story during the beta process, I think it suffers from basically being a collection of notes or too-brief segments. I feel like I never rounded it out properly. Maybe some of the transitions don't quite work. Maybe it doesn't linger enough on the moments to let the tension build. Maybe I didn't flesh out the world enough. Or maybe those aspects are fine, and something else doesn't work. I don't know. What do you think?

You can find it here: Knowing Me, Knowing You, Ray/Ray, rated PG

This week's moderator is [livejournal.com profile] gurrier. She can be reached at gurrier [at] comcast [dot] net.
[identity profile] yeungmaisu.livejournal.com
I agonized over which of my three poems to post here and I finally decided to go with Appearances. That's because while Appearances was the last one written, it falls first in the characters' timeline.

Now I actually wrote this as a companion piece to the other poems, which are more slashy in nature (and I'll post them here sometime in the future). However unlike either of those, Appearances deals with RayK's feelings for Stella and the nature of their relationship (as I see it).

As for what I want discussed, there were actually several points I was concerned with and would like talked about. One) Does Ray's voice sound true? Two) Was I able to capture his character? Three) Are his thoughts and eventual decisions realistic? Four) What is the underlining emotion or feeling behind the words?

Furthermore, I'm supposed to mention Sprat (sprat75@ gmail.com) is the current moderator and that she'll be leading the discussion this week.

Finally, I would like to thank Sprat and Gurrier for starting this community; it's a wonderful idea that's seriously going to help in building and polishing skills.
[identity profile] sprat.livejournal.com
I liked [livejournal.com profile] kindkit's approach to choosing a story to link here--it seems more useful to hear about possible flaws that I don't already see. This story's fairly recent, so it's pretty close to the way I write now. And though it's not my favourite of my own stories, I do like it quite a bit.

I guess I most want to hear about characterisation, especially Ray K.'s--I've always found his a tricky voice to get right. I'm also curious to know if the structure of the story worked--like, were there slow spots? Was there enough information to let you know what was going on?

The story is here: April After All

And this weeks moderator is [livejournal.com profile] gurrier, because she was nice enough to take my turn for me this week. She can be reached at gurrier@ comcast.net
[identity profile] kindkit.livejournal.com
I kind of agonized over which story to submit for critique, but in the end I decided on the due South story that I'm proudest of. My reasoning being that I don't need people telling me about the story flaws I can see already, but about the ones I don't notice.

I'm still pretty new to the fandom, and I suppose my main worry in fic is getting the characters' voices right. Especially Fraser's--I haven't dared attempt his POV yet. So comments about the voices and how to improve them, in both dialogue and narration, would be particularly welcome.

Anyway, here's the story: Perfection in the Work, Fraser/Kowalski, rated R.

ETA: This week's moderator is [livejournal.com profile] gurrier, gurrier @ comcast.net.
[identity profile] gurrier.livejournal.com
To get the ball rolling, I'm submitting a story of mine called In the Water.

Due South is the first fandom I've ever written in, and the first time I've written fiction since leaving school nearly 20 years ago. That's a long time without worrying about plot, structure, characterisation - anything! People have said nice things, which feels really good, but I'm left wondering. What didn't work? What could I do better? So i'd really appreciate some critical feedback.

This week's moderator is [livejournal.com profile] sprat, sprat75@gmail.com.

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